Dear John,
I read your story about your precious daughter and my heart ached because I knew what you were going through. Eight years ago I lost my 17 day old son to a rare heart disease called Total Anolmy Plumonary Venous Return. You never think things like that happen to you, they are suppose to happen to other people. We were just taking him to his 2 week checkup and the Doctor heard an heartmummer, so we rushed him to the Children's Hospital. One intern after another would come in and I knew that someone deadly was wrong because they had never seen this before. After one hour we took him up to the PICU. I was about to walk out the door and something told me to go back and give him a big kiss and a hug, I think somehow I knew that would be the last time I would see him. Ten minutes later they came out and said he died and we are working on him. I let out the biggest moan you have ever heard and my husband caught me as my body went limp. The next morning felt like I was run over by a 18 wheeler and he backed up a couple of times and hit me again. The funeral was horrible and when they said they had to close the casket I didn't want to let go. I know that one thing that helped me through was I felt like God was there holding my hand and I talked about him to everyone I met. And I knew he was with God and I didn't not ask why because it would have drove me crazy. About 3 years later we were sent to Hawaii and that is where I finally found some peace. I started going to a church out there and someone posed this question? Are you 100% sure that when you die you will go to heaven to be with your son? It didn't take me long to answer, no I'm not sure. I tell you I had a very bad feeling to think I wasn't going to see my son again. They said do you want to know how you can know for sure and I said Yes! please tell me how. They said do you believe that God sent Jesus to die for our sins. I said yes. Do you believe you are a sinner (Romans 3:22&23 "For there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God". I said yes I know I am a sinner. Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord". Do you want to know how you can be saved. I said yes I want to be with my son. Look at Romans 10:9,19,13 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God haith raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man beleiveth unto righteousness; and with mouth confession is made unto salvation. For whosever call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." I said that seems so simple is that all. Yes God made it simple because he wants everyone to be saved. They said if you really mean it then pray this prayer " I know that I am a sinner. I know I don't deserve to go to Heaven. I thank you for gift of Eternal life through your son, Jesus Christ, who died for me. Today I want to receive you into my heart and life as my personal savior. Thank you in Jesus name. Amen". At that moment I felt my body tingle with heat as it swept over me and right away I felt peace knowing that I would be in heaven with my son. I been going to a Fundamental Baptist Church every since and my life is so much richer every day I talk with the Lord. He helps me through all my trials and they make me a stronger person now. I have a wonderful husband and daughter and I try to show them how much I love them everyday. I know I will see my son again but until then I am reading God's word in the King James bible and going to church. When the Holy spirit convicts me I change something else in my life. Each time I do I feel closer to God and more peace. In proverbs 30:5 "Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him". I will be praying for you if that is all right. If you ever want to talk or email me you can. May God Be With You and help you each day. God Bless Mrs. Matthews ####@###.com or ###-###-####
 

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